The theme of the moment, both in my personal life and in the collective, seems to be uncertainty.
I’m not going to get into the political stuff because it’s everywhere, and I trust that you’re plenty informed and aware. Personally, we’ve been dealing with lots of health crises, loss, grief, and stuff that makes planning, ahem, challenging.
I’m the type of person (Virgo Sun, eldest child) who likes to plan ahead. I also keep the plans flexible (Cancer rising), and usually try to leave some space in my schedule for spontaneity. Lately I’ve had to really lean on this flexible aspect.
Things keep changing rapidly. We weren’t able to do our usual weekly extended family dinners for nearly a month. Last week, responding to a message from one of my kids, I set one up for tomorrow. This upset one of my family members, a fellow Virgo, because I didn’t follow the usual protocol: consulting a quorum of Virgos. I pressed on, and we made the plans. Today, it gets cancelled. Not due to illness, thankfully, but because it’s going to be “too hot.” (Is that even a thing?! Apparently it is. I’m one of the only summer-weather-fans in the family.)
Last month, Quester and I planned to take a trip up to his family’s camp on the sea, on the final weekend of June - only to find out that we have memorial services to attend that weekend, both days.
Financial uncertainty is an ongoing theme, especially in a household of entrepreneurs.
Talking Self, the ego part of the psyche that likes to be in control, trying to keep life safe by keeping it predictable, doesn’t like uncertainty. No kidding, right?
When we let that part of us drive the bus, we’re not going to be happy campers.
I think this is a lesson in going with the flow and trusting that the Universe has my back. I’ve been working with this particular lesson for some time. There continue to be new layers of it to integrate.
I’m sure someone, probably a fellow Virgo, will pick up the mantle of scheduling some family dinners. I’m going to wait to be invited to participate. As of this writing, Quester and I are going to head up to camp (pictured here) during the week for some much-needed R&R. The entrepreneur thing means that I can do my work remotely from there, and he can shuffle some of his work around. Money? It always shows up eventually, in my experience. So why worry?
Worrying is a family trait that I’ve been unlearning over time. I’ve gotten much better at recognizing when it pops up, and focusing my thoughts in other directions. This has brought my anxiety levels way down. Yes, even during the current dumpster-fire that is the fall of the patriarchy, and the recent family crises.
When uncertainty came knocking, I knew what to do. Namely: feel the feels and let them go (journaling helps), take each day one moment at a time, make time to rest and recover when possible, have a “go bag” ready, and make sure I have regular time for creative expression.
My “go bag,” particularly when needing to keep folks company in the hospital, includes a water bottle, sweatshirt, books, journal and pen, crystals, phone and charger, cash, and other small personal items I might need.
Time for creative expression helps me to process intense feelings and experiences. There are many ways to do this. Yours might include vigorous exercise, talking it over with a trusted friend, and/or naps.
Reaching out for support is also helpful in times of uncertainty. It’s not one I’m particularly good at, yet. I’m practicing. I used to just hide from the world when things went wrong. This spring, I kept my friends, who are amazing, loving beings, informed. I’m learning how to respond when they ask what they can do to help. Over the past weeks I’ve received yummy meals, a calming essential oil spray, and lots of supportive texts and hugs. Not to mention the magickal rituals at the beach, the ones that are like balm to my soul.
While my entrepreneur lifestyle makes income flow uncertain, it does allow me more time freedom than if I worked for someone else. That’s been a plus during the ever-changing plans, lately.
I feel like this dance with uncertainty is teaching me a lot. I hope that sharing it here will help you with your own uncertain times.
Here’s a bonus bit of wisdom for all of us, from Spirit.
I was going through a bunch of old notebooks, as part of my poetry project where I’m gathering up all the poems I’ve written across the years, and I found something interesting. In my book The Heart of the Goddess, written in 2016, I was beginning to experiment with channeled writing. I found a piece on uncertainty that I’d channeled and included in the book. What serendipitous timing!
Excerpted from The Heart of the Goddess by Nikki Starcat Shields:
Why are we so stymied by uncertainty, and what can we do about it?
You are correct that you often get very focused on knowing the right thing to do. Certainty, however, isn’t really the blessing that you imagine it to be. When you are certain about something, you don’t leave any room for innovation or possibility or mystery. You are closing a bunch of doors and telling yourself, incorrectly, that there is only one way to proceed – the way that gets you the outcome you desire.
Of course, there are many paths up the mountain, always, and many possible action steps that will bring your desires to life. So, when you are feeling stuck because you are uncertain about what to do, the best course of action is to get really quiet and listen to your intuition.
Turn off your conscious mind’s chatter, or turn it down so that you can focus on your internal world. Listen within. Feel what you are feeling. What, in this situation, would feel best to you? Let go of your expectations and the outcome that you wish to see. Return to the feelings that you are hoping to receive from this whole endeavor. What is your big why? Why do you want to do this, whatever it is? What feelings will it bring to you?
When you are able to get quiet and lean into that feeling space, you’ll uncover some inspiring action steps to take in regard to your project or problem. Find a way to do them. Do them with joy and abandon. Try to do them for their own sake, rather than putting a lot of pressure on them. You often approach it like, “if I do this, then this will happen, and I will feel this way.”
That’s a lot of pressure to put on one set of actions, really. You’re making things bigger than they need to be. You’re building a tower of blocks that could crumble if you decide to make a change, or if you lose interest and wander off.
We know it sounds contradictory, but what you want to feel is a timeless, joyful, in-the-moment flow when you are taking your inspired action, and a foundational knowing that these steps are taking you down the best path. It’s almost as if the actions themselves don’t matter all that much, and that’s true in a sense.
What you want is a feeling, whether it’s abundance or creativity or love or joy or whatever. To get from where you are to embodying that feeling isn’t as far as you think. You make things much more difficult than they need to be, a lot of the time. If you want to feel abundance, explore what makes you feel abundant in this moment. It could be visualizing a life of travel or riches or an extravagant home. It might be enjoying the plethora of choices in your pantry for your next meal. It could be going outside and admiring the abundance of trees or flowers or clouds that Nature creates easily.
Feel the abundance as viscerally as you can, then pause. Get quiet and listen within. Find your intuition. See what advice it gives to you. It might be to go take a nap! Get really good at hearing what your inner wisdom has to say to you right now. Follow those instructions.
The better you get at hearing your intuition, the more you will be on top of opportunities that the Universe presents for you to move toward your desired feelings. When you are feeling like you need to be certain, to take a particular set of steps, you’ll be ignoring the rest of the creation that is going on around you all the time. You won’t hear the offers that are there for you.
You need to get really good at the paradox of setting powerful intentions backed by strong positive feelings, and living joyfully in this very moment, accepting what is already in your experience. Practice that, as if your life depended on it.
The reason that you are afraid of uncertainty is because you have been taught to know the answers. Much more important than knowing the answers is learning to ask the most interesting questions. When you are able to ask the questions that lead to creativity and expansion, you will be astonished at the plethora of answers that the Universe provides for you.
Play with asking interesting questions. Not the simple “yes or no,” “stop or go” ones that you might be tempted to ask your intuition. Those are far too simple and closed off. Find a really interesting question, something that fascinates and excites you. Get still and quiet, and ask your inner self the question.
Let the answers flow forth! Even if they don’t show up right away, if you will hold the question in your heart and then move through your day, being as present in the moment as possible, the answers will be presented to you in the form of the people, things, and experiences that you encounter. Let the answers in, and let there be many of them.
Don’t accept the first one that comes to you. Collect a basket of answers, like wildflowers you have picked, and then ask your intuition to help you sort through them. Keep the prettiest, most appealing ones. If they come in the form of suggested actions, then by all means give some of them a try! The more you respect and follow your intuition, the more confidence you will have in it, and the more wisdom will show up.
Uncertainty is really just the opportunity to ask some interesting new questions about your dilemma. When you open to allowing the answers to flow in, you’ll be amazed at the ideas that will appear, and how fun they will feel to you! These answers, from the still point where your soul connects with the Divine whole, will light you up from within. They will inspire actions that might not even look like they have anything to do with the topic you first broached, yet they will feel empowering and uplifting and joyful.
Follow this thread of light as it moves through your conscious experience. Let go of the tendency to make things more complicated than they need to be. Release the need to be certain. Embrace the mysteries, and become a true co-creator of your life.